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Philip Anderson.

The man you took pleasure in embarrassing everywhere you possibly could. And yet he still loved you. For some strange and odd reason.

And on this particular occasion, Philip wondered why he was even still here. You had the entire Yard laughing at him, plus that freak and his boyfriend.

“And, and..” You tried to catch your breath from the laughing fit to continue with the story, Greg's hands on your side and back to keep you steady. “He still didn't get it! He just thought it was spoiled! Sometimes I wonder what goes through that head of his and how he understands anything..”

Lestrade patted your shoulder, his laughter calming down as he excused himself to actually get some kind of work done today. He swore he could listen to you tell your stories all day, but they had a case to finish. Greg waved for Sherlock and John and after they quieted down they followed in after him.

You waved to the few men that passed you, planning your quick escape so you could avoid that frightening gaze of Anderson. You were just about to step outside when the collar of your button up was caught. Cursing under your breath, you crossed your arms over your chest and pouted.

“(Name),” he said sternly, coming into your view and grabbing your shoulders. “You need to stop.”

“Why? It's for fun. It's not necessarily hurting anyone.”

His brows raised, head tilting to the side as if to say, 'really?' You cast your gaze to the side, pursing your lips. “Oh.”

“Know if you continue, it'll come back to bite you.”

“What?” Your head snapped right back up, a look of curiosity on your face. But his smirk and the mischievous glint in his light irises. “You wouldn't dare..”

“Don't try me.” He grinned, pinching your side before leaving you to go back to what he was doing before you interrupted. Deciding that you really wanted to know if he would retaliate or not, you called out to him one last time before you would leave.

“I packed a sandwich for you in your lunchpack. I even cut it into that dinosaur shape you so love.” Philip quickly turned to look back at you as you blew a kiss and left him, his colleagues beginning to giggle to themselves.

“Let it be war...”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Do you need mum to walk you to the door, sweetie?”

Greg snorted from beside you which quickly turned to coughing when he saw the glare Anderson sent his way.

“I thought 'mum' was reserved for the bed only..” He hummed thoughtfully starting toward the door. Your jaw went slack as you watched his back.

“What happens behind locked doors stays behind locked doors..”

“All is fair in love and war, mum.” With a smug smirk, he went inside.

“I'm sorry. You have him call you mum!?”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Lestrade had begged for some of your homemade treats and coffee which is why Anderson found you at the Yard with the psychopath and his friend, sniggering to yourselves. He already had a sinking feeling in his stomach as he approached you slowly like a wild animal.

“A bunny?”

“A bunny.” You confirmed with a nod and John barked in laughter, holding his sides as if he was about to split. Sherlock grinned madly to himself. He had grown attached to your stories. They had only done him good by improving his arsenal against the idiotic Anderson. And for that, he was grateful.

“No,” Philip whispered to himself, covering his mouth. Not the bunny story. No.

“Oh yes,” you stated after hearing him, bouncing on your heels victoriously.  That was until Anderson stepped forward and looked the pair of men in the eyes.

“(Name) keeps a lock of my hair and my finger nails in her purse at all times.”

“You bastard.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“I've walked in on Philip trying on my bra once. Who knows what he was trying to accomplish!”

Sally grimaced in disgust, shuddering at the thought. “That's just plain weird.”

“You're telling me.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“She's always talking to herself. Or even objects in the flat. I once caught her talking to the table. An actual conversation as if it were talking back to her, answering her questions. Sometimes I wonder about her sanity.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“I've run out of stories.”

“Me, too.”

Philip could only laugh at himself, pulling you closer to him and tucking the blankets under your chin. You sighed content, snuggling up into his chest with a soft smile. He ran his fingers through your (h/c) tresses, blinking sleepily at your face.



“Is that a turtle plush?”

“Go to sleep, (Name).”

“Ooooooh yesss. Sherlock is going to love this.”
The next in the series: Philip Anderson - Humor.

I do not own BBC/Sherlock/characters/etc.
Or reader/you.
Add a Comment:
SherlockBBY Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2014
Seriously, you need to write more Anderson x Readers. They're fantastic! Really made me giggle! A brilliant piece of work! :)
BrendaVantasMakara Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014  Student General Artist
somebody please hold me~
LlamaOfMischief Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2014
Oh, Anderson, how I love telling the woman who "scrubs your floors" your wonderful stories... *gazes into the distance* (LOVED THE STORY! :D)
Caligo-Loki-Love Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer

Thank you so much!! 
shatteredhero Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
YES! I have been waiting for this one and it was worth the wait! Great job! The world needs more Anderson X Reader fics! MORE! 
Caligo-Loki-Love Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
shatteredhero Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
you're welcome! thank you for making this fic!
Mauling-Savage-Sith Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Wow, I really liked this!!! XD Never read an AndersonxReader before, but it was a welcome surprise! :squee:
Caligo-Loki-Love Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!! I'm glad!
Mauling-Savage-Sith Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're so welcome!!! :glomp: I was wondering, I've started writing a MoriartyxReader fanfic and I'm getting a couple of people to proof read it for me.... Could you please read it??? :iconbegplz:
Caligo-Loki-Love Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Oh! Yeah! I can do that.
Mauling-Savage-Sith Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Awesome!!! :squee: I'll send it right away!! =D
EarlyRain Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is the first time ever, i have read a Anderson x reader!!
and wow! boy am i glad to have read this! It was funny too!

(soz! kinda freaking out about this right now)
Caligo-Loki-Love Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
GOOD! I felt he needed some love.
Add a Comment:

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Submitted on
January 31, 2014


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